I’m my own valentine this year (and you should be, too)

Who says the holiday has to be a bummer for single people? It's more than OK to devote the day to yourself.

A selection of candy hearts Photo: Leah Kelley

In terms of Valentine’s Day sentiments, opinions tend to fall into one of two camps: general disinterest and absolute hatred. I, however, am one of a minority of people who absolutely love Valentine’s Day. Perhaps it’s the hopeless romantic in me, or maybe it’s just my raging chocolate addiction, but there has never been a year where I didn’t feel a flurry of excitement at the upcoming holiday.

My love of the day is, I would like to point out, completely without a reasonable explanation, since every one of my 20 (soon to be 21) Valentine’s Days has been spent missing a major component: a valentine. It may seem odd, and perhaps it really is! The typical image of a single person on Valentine’s Day conjures a scowling cynic hollering about the fact that “Valentine’s Day is just made up by Hallmark to sell more cards,” but that’s not me. Particularly not this year.


This year, I've made the decision to be my own valentine, and I think you should be yours. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or something in-between—there are few things more uncomfortable than being in the talking stage on February 14—I want you to treat yourself to all of the love and luxury that you can. Why not? Valentine’s Day is all about love, and everyone deserves to be loved by someone, even if that someone is themselves. Whether showing yourself love means booking a massage, blocking your ex on Instagram, or baking a cake and eating the whole thing, Valentine’s Day should be a day where you show yourself all the love and respect you’d expect from a significant other and then some.

So how do I plan to be my own knight-in-shining-armour this Valentine’s Day? Well, with the holiday being on a Sunday, it will begin with a great sleep-in. I will then buy myself flowers, coffee, and chocolate. I might work out, but then again, I probably won’t. I’ll distribute Valentine’s cards to all of my closest friends, a.k.a. my secondary valentines. Lastly, I’ll end the day by making a heart-shaped pizza (Triple A delivers pizza-making kits to your house) and watching a good movie (likely Pretty Woman). Despite my already-set plans, the benefit to being your own valentine is that you don’t have to do anything to celebrate—no need to spend money on an expensive dinner or figure out the perfect gift to buy someone. If your ideal day entails doing nothing at all, go for it!


If you’re chronically single, just getting out of a relationship, or doing long-distance, Valentine’s Day can amplify any loneliness or insecurities that may lay dormant throughout the year. For Valentine’s Day 2021, however, that will all change. You have to spend every second of every day for the rest of your life with yourself, so why not treat yourself the way you’d treat a significant other? Though I’ll be spending the holiday single, I know that it’s going to be the best one yet, because I’m in charge.

No matter what your Valentine’s Day plans look like this year, carve out some time to show yourself the love you’re showing everyone else. In the immortal words of RuPaul: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else? Can I get an amen?”